|“||Oh, you mean our third date when you finger-fucked me at the opera? Before telling me you didn't think we were right for each other? Oh, and that you had just met a straight girl that you thought you might fall in love with? No, I don't remember a thing.||”|
–Alice to Bette, "Lone Star"
The relationship between Alice Pieszecki and Bette Porter began when they met over seven years before "Pilot". Bette had contacted Alice for help with developing a guest list for a party at her art gallery. They dated for six weeks during which time Bette cheated on Alice. Bette later broke up with Alice to pursue Tina Kennard instead. Despite this, Alice and Bette became best friends.
Pre-The L Word
After college, Bette Porter worked at The Drawing Center in Manhattan, New York, while Alice Pieszecki became a journalist for LA Magazine and got to know the movers and shakers of Los Angeles. Around seven years prior to The L Word, Bette decided to move to Los Angeles to open her own art gallery. She contacted Alice and asked the journalist to help her develop an invite list for a party at her new gallery. Alice and Bette subsequently dated for six weeks, during which time Bette cheated on Alice.
On their third date, the pair went to the Los Angeles Opera where Bette "finger-fucked" Alice in public during a performance of the Flower Duet. Immediately after, Bette broke up with Alice and told her that she had just met a "straight girl" that she could see herself falling in love with. The "straight girl" in question was Tina Kennard, who Alice herself had indirectly introduced to Bette, as Tina's then-boyfriend was one of the people she invited to Bette's aforementioned art gallery party. After their breakup, Bette and Alice remained close friends.
The L Word
- Bette: "Why is it so important for you to believe that everyone is sleeping with everyone else?"
- Alice: "Because they are."
- Bette: "No, that's just your little fantasy. Here is a truly radical idea for you to contemplate: Monogamy isn't just hypothetical. Some people actually do practice it."
- -- in "Let's Do It"
- Alice: "Did you fall in love?"
- Bette: "No. I love Tina. Tina is the only person that I'm in love with."
- Alice: "But you're still sitting on Candace's face."
- Bette: "Actually, I'm not. I told you, I ended it as soon as I could."
- Alice: "As soon as you could? What are you, like, a sex addict now?"
- Bette: "No, I'm not a sex addict. Jesus, Alice. You know, I think calling sex an addiction is just an excuse for bad behavior, and I know that I behaved badly, but I'm prepared to take responsibility for it."
- Alice: "No, you behaved really badly."
- Bette: "I know that it sounds like an excuse, but you know what? The fact is, she disappeared on me. She was depressed and she was completely wrapped up in herself, and I tried to talk to her about it, but she completely shut me out."
- Alice: "For how long?"
- Bette: "Two or three months."
- Alice: "Out of seven years? I think you could have waited."
- Bette: "She abandoned me as much as I abandoned her. We both did it."
- Alice: "Yeah, but only one of you was having an orgasm."
- Bette: "Fuck you, Alice."
- -- in "Life, Loss, Leaving"
- Bette: "Fuck you!"
- Alice: "Fuck me?"
- Bette: "Yeah, fuck you. Weren't you my friend?"
- Alice: "You know, I'm still your friend. I'm totally your friend, but you can be a little cruel. I've been there. I remember."
- Bette: "That's low. You and I dated for six weeks, it was never going to go anywhere. I did us both a favor."
- -- in "Lap Dance"
- Bette: "Remember this aria?"
- Alice: "Oh, you mean our third date when you finger-fucked me at the opera? Before telling me you didn't think we were right for each other? Oh, and that you had just met a straight girl that you thought you might fall in love with? No, I don't remember a thing."
- -- in "Lone Star"
- Alice: "Wow! Wow. Fancy. I like this. This is good. A whole new Bette, huh? Artsy, a little artsy-fartsy going on here."
- Bette: "We have a situation, Alice."
- Alice: "What, are you going to stick me in the corner with a dunce cap on, Principal Porter?"
- Bette: "My boss is attracted to you."
- Alice: "Really?"
- Bette: "Yeah. She thinks you two made a real connection. She said that you made 'meaningful eye contact' with her. Is that true?"
- Alice: "She thinks I flirted with her?"
- Bette: "Alice, this isn't funny."
- Alice: "No."
- Bette: "No, it's not. She wept in my arms because she's been unhappy for 25 years, and now she's dying to find out what she's been missing, and she thinks you sent her signals."
- Alice: "She really thinks I sent her signals? Really?"
- Bette: "Yes. And we have to do something about it. We have to let her down easy."
- Alice: "Okay, okay."
- Bette: "Alice, it's not funny."
- Alice: "No, it's not funny."
- -- in "Lassoed"
- Bette: "Alice, you've got to break up with her."
- Alice: "I already broke up with her."
- Bette: "Yeah, well, you re-break up with her, because some lesbians, you know what, you have to break up with them more than once."
- -- in "Luck Be a Lady"
- Alice: "I can give you a platform to tell your side. You can tell them who you are."
- Bette: "But I don't know who I am right now."
- Alice: "You're Bette fucking Porter."
- -- in "Let's Do It Again"
The L Word